How to Know When It’s Time to Leave a Marriage or Long-Term Relationship
Hey sis,
I know this is one of the hardest questions to ask yourself: Is it time to leave?
I’m not here to give you a one-size-fits-all answer because, honestly? The decision is personal. It’s layered. It’s emotional. And no one—not your friends, not your family, not even me—can tell you what to do. But what I can do is give you a framework to help you get real with yourself and find your answer.
In my opinion, there are two major components that can help you decide if it’s time to walk away:
1. You Have No Doubt That You’ve Done Everything You Could
The first part is all about you.
Before you make a final decision, ask yourself:
If I look back a month from now, six months, a year, even five years… will I know, without a doubt, that I did everything I could?
Did I communicate my needs clearly?
Did I show up as my best self?
Did I give them the opportunity to do better?
Because here’s the thing—if you walk away too soon and you still feel like there’s something left to give, that uncertainty will eat at you later. But if you can honestly say, I have exhausted everything within me, and your partner still isn’t meeting you halfway, then sis, you’ve got your first answer.
2. They Aren’t Making Any Real Progress
The second part is about them.
Let’s be real—no relationship is perfect. Every couple has problems. The difference between a healthy relationship and a dead-end one is one thing. EFFORT!.
Ask yourself:
Have we had real conversations about what needs to change?
Has my partner actually made an effort to improve—physically, mentally, emotionally?
Are they just saying the right things, or are they doing the work?
Talk is cheap. Real change requires action.
If months have passed, maybe even years, and you still don’t see real effort? If they keep making excuses, minimizing your feelings, or straight-up refusing to meet you where you are? That’s your second answer.
So… Is It Time to Leave?
If both of these things are true—
✔️ You’ve done everything you could.
✔️ They’re not making any real effort.
Then, sis… you already know the answer. You’re just waiting for permission to accept it.
But let me tell you something—you don’t need permission to choose yourself.
It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to feel scared. But it’s not okay to stay in a place that’s draining your spirit when you know deep down it’s no longer serving you.
Whatever you decide, know this: You are not weak for leaving. You are not weak for staying and trying. You are only weak if you give up on yourself.
So take a deep breath, be honest with yourself, and trust that you will make the right decision—when you’re ready.
I love you, beautiful. You got this. 💛
